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tehtud :P isasloomale siiski. Nalja sai nii siis kui pidi tuttavatele graafikat jagavatele kuttidele palvet seletama (palusime pilti otsida, sel ajal kui ise sõidus olime), rääkimata T-särgipoe neiu näoilmetest.
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09.02.2009 at 16:06
natuke nalja vol 33Meeldetuletus, et kellest vaja eestil lahti saada 09.02.2009 18:26
Telefonihelin Hundijala talus.
- Kuule Edgar, sa oled loll!
- Kes räägib
- Rahvas räägib!
Vihane Savisaar tormab ajalehe toimetaja kabinetti:
"Ma nõuan teie lehelt mulle tekitatud moraalse ja materiaalse kahju heastamist. Mida te õige mõtlete, kui nimetate mind, kõrget poliitikut suliks ja altkäemaksuvõtjaks?"
"Siin peab olema mingi eksitus," vastab toimetaja. "Me ei avalda lehes kunagi midagi sellist, mis kõigile niikuinii teada on..."
Savisaar on külas Tartus ja külastab sealset uut kinnipidamisasutust. Personal ja vangid on õuele üles rivistatud.
Savisaar möödub neist ja hüüab:"tervist röövlid, vargad ja mõrtsukad!"
"Tervist meie suur juht ja õpetaja!", kõlab võimas vastus.
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09.02.2009 at 20:22
natuke nalja vol 33Tüüp ostis omale uue Mersu ja mõtles, et läheks kimaks väheke Tartu
maanteel.
Jõudes kaherealisele tõmbas naksti 140 rauda ja oh häda, vilkurid kohe
sabas.
Mõtles hetkeks, et ega need politseinikud uut Mersut ikka kätte saa ja
vajutas gaasi põhja. Kui 220 km/h sees oli, aga võmmid ikka maha ei tahtnud
jääda lõi paanika lõpuks sisse ja, mõeldes juba eelseisvale jamale, peatas
siiski oma uhke, uue masina.
Politseinik jalutas rahulikult Mersuni, vaatas juhi dokumente, kontrollis
joovet ja ütles siis: "Läks väheke kiireks siin ennist, aga kui tuled välja
vabandusega, mida ma enne kuulnud ei ole, saad puhtalt minema."
Mees mõtles hetke ning vastas: "Vaadake härra, eelmisel nädalal lasi mu
naine ühe politseinikuga jalga ja nüüd ma mõtlesin, et äkki tahetakse moori
tagasi tuua."
"Kena nädalavahetust", soovis politseinik ning jalutas minema.
natuke nalja vol 33sain lõpuks chevy van'i, aga krt oleks teadnud mis tegurid hinda mõjutavad, oleks ikka kordades tinginud...
väike nali kah http://halbot.haluze.sk/?id=4566
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13.02.2009 at 12:40
1 edit. Last edited 13.02.2009 at 12:51 by armasjumal
natuke nalja vol 33Vastusena Teie nõudmisele koheselt kustutada võlgnevus Teie äriühingu ees teatame, et seoses ülemaailmse majanduskriisiga toimub meie firmas võlgnevuste likvideerimine allkirjeldatud viisil:
Kõik tasumisele kuuluvad jooksvad kuludokumendid, samuti tasutavad riigimaksud, aga ka varasemad õigeaegselt tasumata arved ja maksed laotakse ühte virna.
Pärast hoolikat segamist valitakse nende seast juhuslikult välja 3 maksmisele kuuluvat dokumenti, millised tasutakse esimesel võimalusel.
Seega, kui Te veelkord lubate enesele taolises sobimatus toonis võla tasumise nõudmist, siis oleme sunnitud kahetsusega teatama, et Teie nõuded loosimises ei osale.
Lugupidamisega...
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13.02.2009 at 22:08
Suburban - Stretched Useless Blazer Uses Rusty Bolts And Nails
Tahoe - Total Amateur Hates Onerous Electronics / Take A Hike, Or Else
Daihatsu - Damages Axles In Highly Advanced Technical Situations,
Unfortunately
Rocky - Rolled Over Cliff; Keep Yanking
Dodge - Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Dakota - Damned Amateurs, Keep Out of Tough Areas
Durango - Drives Unusually Rough And Never Goes Offroad
Ram - Replace All Motors / Really Awful Mechanicals
Ramcharger - Radiator And Motor Can't Handle A Relatively Gentle Easy Road
Ford - Forget Off Road Driving / Found On Rocks Disabled / Flip Over,
Read Directions / or upside down: Driver Returns On Foot / Damaging Rust
Overwhelms Frame (pic1) (pic2) (pic3) (pic4) (pic5)
Honda - Had One, Never Did Again
Hyundai - Help! Yells Unimpressed Newbie, Disappointed After Introduction
Santa Fe - Sluggish Automobile Notoriously Tepid And Fools Everyone /
Sad Attempt Not Too Advanced, Fails Early
Isuzu - It Slowly Undermines Ziebart's Undercoating
Jeep - Just Enough Extra Parts / Jinxed Engine Eats Pistons / Jerks
Exploring Every Pasture / Joke Electronics Exceptionally Poor / Just
Empty Every Pocket
Grand Cherokee - Grandmother's Ride Allows No Droop; Can't Hear
Expensive Radio Over Knocking Engine and Exhaust (pic1) (pic2) (pic3)
ZJ - Zero Juice / Zoological Joke
Kia - Keep It Away / Killed in Action / Know It All (Ayeee!)
Lada - Lost And Dumfounded Again
Niva - No Inherent Value at All
Land Rover - Laughing At New Driver, Rolled On Very Easy Road
County - Crazily-Overpriced Unit Normally Taxi's Yokels
Defender - Driver Easily Forgets Everything; Normally Disabled on Every
Rock
Discovery - Driver Ignorant; Saves Cash to Own a Very Expensive Ride for
Yuppies
Range Rover - Replace All New Gears Eventually; Risk Of Violently
Exploding Rear
Lincoln - Lousy Incompetant Numbskull Crashes; Obviously Legally Negligent
Navigator - Not A Very Interested Glance At This Overpriced Ride
Mazda - Mindless Automaton Zipping Dangerously Along
MPV - Mind Painfully Vacant (pic1) (pic2)
Navajo - Not A Vehicle A Judge Owns
Tribute - Terrifying Roll Into Bushes Ultimately Totalled Exterior
Mercedes - Many Easily Roll & Careen Effortlessly Down Endless Slopes
ML - More Lift / Money Lost / Moronic Loser
Unimog - Uncomfortable Noisy Imposing Monstrosity Often Grinds
Mercury - My Easily-Rolled Car Usually Requires Yanking
Mountaineer - Man Overjoyed Until New Transmission And Injectors Negate
Electronics, Exploding Rapidly
Mitsubishi - Mournfully I've Tried Spending Unlimited Bucks; I Still
Hate It
Montero - My Overrated New Truck Easily Rolls Over
Pajero - Poorly-Assembled Junk; Engine Replaced Often
Nissan - Now I'm Stuck, Send Another Nissan
Patrol - Phone A Taxi
Pontiac - Parting Out Now, Totalled It After Collision
Suzuki - Slid Under Zooming Unimog; Killed Instantly
Grand Vitara - Grossly Restricted Articulation Normally Denotes Very
Interesting Time At Rocky Areas
Volvo - Very Old Lady's Vehicle Only
Willys - We Invariably Like Long Yank Straps / What Incompetent Losers
Like, Yes Siree
Toyota - Tipped Over, Yanked Out To Asphalt
Land Cruiser - Lost And Needs Directions, Can't Return Until Idiot
Searches Every Road
____________________________
700cid
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15.02.2009 at 14:52
natuke nalja vol 331. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it
was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child
innocently.
'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it
didn't move'
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....'
'What?'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'
'WHAT?'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'
The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in
and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's
sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''
4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he
asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me
tonight?'
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
'The big sissy.'
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
children's sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter Dress?'
The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on
microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'
6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
shower.
She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!'
I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her
tummy.'
'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'
7.. A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....'
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.'
'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked
'Yes,' he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you
teaching my son in math?'
The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.'
The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that
son of a bitch is four?'
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them
was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'
8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '... and so Chicken Little
went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is
falling!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that
farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:
'Holy $**t! A talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter.'
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane
Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play
with the boys?'
Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're
too rough.'
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'
11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake The barber says to her,
'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin..'
She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'
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15.02.2009 at 01:54
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