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Natuke nalja vol 19isegi oma poste ei mäleta enam? :P
edit: kalev35 va kavalpea kustutas posti ära et ma nüüd naljakas paistaks peab quotemist meeles pidama teinekord
____________________________
impreza n/a
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03.10.2006 at 21:08
1 edit. Last edited 04.10.2006 at 18:19 by rat_013
Natuke nalja vol 19A VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES - YOUR CONTRACT HAS CHANGED
Company Policy: Effective from October 2006
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
you are doing well financially and therefore do not need raise. If you
dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you
buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress
just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not
need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctors statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Annual Leave Days
Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year. They are
called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
Dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to
have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch
hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract,
the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second
offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under
the Chronic offenders category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will
be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so
That they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch
to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people
get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a
Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's,
consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
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04.10.2006 at 18:10
endal tuli pähe selline kahtlane loosung:
"Liiklus Tallinnas valgusfoori taga on nagu kiirendussport - kui rohelist tuld juba näed, siis oled hiljaks jäänud(saad tagant signaali)"
Loomulikult ei tohiks seda otseselt võtta, naljaga ikka!
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07.10.2006 at 19:35
Natuke nalja vol 19Kord otsustand eestlased sõdima hakata. Mõeldud – tehtud, läksidki Lätile kallale. Suure hooga vallutand Leedugi ja trügind ikka edasi lõuna poole. Lõpuks jõund ühe suure laia jõe äärde. Istund sinna maha jalga puhkama.
Äkki üteld meie pealik: “Nii ilus jõgi."
Sestsaadik hakandki kohalik rahvas jõge Niiluseks kutsuma.
Kalor on soojushulk, mis on vajalik ühe grammi vee temperatuuri tõstmiseks
ühe kraadi Celsiuse võrra. Seega kui juua ära liiter (1000 g) külma õlut
(+4 C), siis selle soojendamiseks kehatemperatuurini (+37 C) kulutab teie
organism energiat 1000 X (37 C- 4 C) = 33 000 kalorit. Et aga üks liiter
õlut sisaldab umbes 10 000 kalorit energiat, siis on tulemuseks 33 000 -10
000 = 23 000 kalorit "kõhnumist", mis on ligilähedane 30 minutisele
kergele sörkjooksule....
Järelikult: ET KÕHNUDA, JOOGE KÜLMA ÕLUT!!!!
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09.10.2006 at 14:31
1 edit. Last edited 09.10.2006 at 15:15 by Madlobster
Warning: Undefined variable $offset2 in /data01/virt688/domeenid/www.tqhq.ee/test/forum/func.php on line 306
quote:Madlobster: Kalor on soojushulk, mis on vajalik ühe grammi vee temperatuuri tõstmiseks
ühe kraadi Celsiuse võrra. Seega kui juua ära liiter (1000 g) külma õlut
(+4 C), siis selle soojendamiseks kehatemperatuurini (+37 C) kulutab teie
organism energiat 1000 X (37 C- 4 C) = 33 000 kalorit. Et aga üks liiter
õlut sisaldab umbes 10 000 kalorit energiat, siis on tulemuseks 33 000 -10
000 = 23 000 kalorit "kõhnumist", mis on ligilähedane 30 minutisele
kergele sörkjooksule....
Järelikult: ET KÕHNUDA, JOOGE KÜLMA ÕLUT!!!!
http://www.beerguide.ee
Saku Õlletehase tarbijauuringute põhjal on Originaal Lighti peamised ostjad nooremapoolsed keskmise sissetulekuga mehed ja naised, kes joovad õlut tema maitse, mitte alkoholi pärast. “Samuti on märgata, et kuurortlinnades ja puhkekohtades juuakse Lighti teiste paikadega võrreldes rohkem,” nendib Kärblane. Ta lükkab ümber üldlevinud arvamuse, nagu oleks õlu rohkelt kaloreid sisaldav jook. Vastupidi - Lighti kalorsus on Eestis müüdavaist lahjadest õlledest kõige väiksem (31 kcal/100 g).
Seega ei saa eelnev kõhnumisejutt kuidagi tõene olla - 1l lahjatki õlu annab 310kcal e 310000 kalorit. Tuleb ikka külma vee juurde jääda krt
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 .. 
peab quotemist meeles pidama teinekord 
